Ha ha ha

What a week.  So I have left a job that I absolutely loved and moved onto another job that I'm also hoping I will love as much.  Life for me is about risks, and trust me, those risks don't always pay off.  They do however, no matter what, work out.  At least that's how I see things.

So I have some funny stuff to share with you all.  Firstly, a genuine ha ha ha.  I have had about a hundred people write in this week (that number really is no joke) and almost every single one of them started their query with, "hi, I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass but I'd really like to know if this bag comes in pink or if do you have this bag from this designer?"  LOL!  Okay, I know that pain the ass post was harsh but it needed to be to keep a very small number of crazies off my back.  Read this well:  YOU ARE SO NOT BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS BY ASKING ME QUESTIONS.  Nope.  No way.  You are asking me to do something I love.

You wanna know pain in the ass?  Here are examples of pain in the ass.  These start off mild to just downright, wow, you're a whole new special breed of pain in the ass...

PITA#1:  Hi, I just signed up for your website and it says "membership pending".  What does that mean? 

This is not really pain in the ass.  It just produces black stares and an, "alrighty, then".

PITA#2:  Hi, I saw that handbag so and so was $260 on your site but it's, like, only $135 on this other site.  It totally looks like the same bag.  How can you be charging so much more?  There is clearly no difference.  

Dude, you found a deal!  Congrats.  If you've already decided that the bags are the same, why bother telling me?  Seriously, you think that I'll lower my prices to $135 per bag?  Unlikely since any good bag, at reseller cost, is more than $135 per bag.  Imma thinking your $135.00 is a piece of junk being represented by some good or high end pictures.  Good luck with that!

PITA#3:  I wrote you at 9:00am, 9:02, 9:05, 9:09, 9:13, 9:17: 9:22 and I'm writing again now.  How come you haven't replied.  Just to make sure you got my email, I sent it to every single email account associated with this site.  Where are you?  How come you haven't written back yet.  Is there a phone number I can call?  Would that give me a response faster?  I don't know what is going on but I need to know if this bag is in stock.  I need to know!!!  I will literally die if I don't find out.  Are you there?  Please reply ASAP.  I'll write again in a few minutes!  I hope you reply the next time. 

Seriously, have a glass of wine or a hot chocolate.  I mean seriously?  Is your child sick?  Are you in need of medical attention?  What's that you say?  Oh! You're inquiring about a REPLICA HANDBAG!!! Right, now I'm getting the urgency!  I am no doctor but I am pretty sure no one has ever died from not knowing whether a particular Balenciaga bag comes in both dark blood red AND candy apple red.  Chill.  I think I hold record times in responding to people and so if I am taking too long to reply, it's definitely you.  I am probably not responding on purpose and waiting to see how long it will take for you to get bored/tired and stop writing.

PITA#4:  Hi, I am thinking of buying a bag but I only want a bag that looks so real that if I took it to the LV or Chanel shop the salesperson would give me hours of accolades on how nice my bag is; she too would be totally fooled by my $260 replica bag, because you know, I'm hoping that the salesperson is new and really stupid and totally doesn't know her products and hasn't been given a stitch of training by GLOBAL billion dollar conglomerates like Louis Vuitton,  Chanel and Gucci.  I'm hoping she likes my replica so much that she takes it around the shop and shows other customers how good quality the product is.  All the time, [giggle, giggle,] she has no idea she is losing her shit over a replica handbag.

I'm not sure if I should be selling you a handbag, prescription meds or some swamp land in Canada's north.  I'm still deciding.  Those stories you read on other replica sites about their replicas being so good that a customer of their site broke her replica LV bag, subsequently took it the LV store in Beverley Hills (of course it has to be the BH location - the story doesn't work so nice if it's the LV store in Manila, Phillipines or Buenos Aires, Argentina), where every single salesperson there is flabbergasted by the beauty of the LV replica, and don't even realize it's a replica, and therefore fixes it for her free! - That's just a story.  It's not true.  It has never happened.  LV sales people are pretty darn snooty, but they are definitely not stupid.   

In fact, I dare you to go take the bestest replica you have, from my site, from ANY site, the absolute bestest one you can produce, to the LV store and try to see if you can elicit the response noted above.  See if the sales person will lose her shit over your bag.  Go ahead.  I double dare ya.  I'm pretty sure LV sales staff is highly trained in spotting a replica.  If nothing else, PITA#4, they have these neat new things called "computers" these days.  These newfangled gadgets keep something called "serial numbers" on them.  These strange but fascinating numbers tell the LV salesperson everything [right down to the very day the handbag was produced, where it was made and the exact team of seamstresses, cutters, and assemblers who made it] she needs to know about a bag.  Here's something else that might be new to PITA#4, replicas handbags also have FAKE serial numbers.

PITA#5:  [My personal favourite for laughs, but least favourite to deal with]  Hi, I was wondering if you could do me a favour.  I am going to be laying down a ton of money for ONE bag ($260.00) and I was hoping that YOU could go to a department store and check the real bag for me against the fake ones you sell.  It's really important to me that everything matches up on the bag and so I need to know the exact measurements of a real bag and the replica bag.  I also need to know if the number of stitches on the front side match up on both bags.  I will REFUSE to buy the bag if it's not 100% perfectly the same as a real handbag.  My husband is an executive in a very large company and it's important for us to make an impression with our friends and his business colleagues. 

I also will not buy a replica from you or anybody if the serial number is not in the EXACT format as the original handbag.  I absolutely refuse to buy a bag if the colour of the replica is called something stupid like "Garden Green" on your website, when we all know that the original is called "Jardin Vert", because it's, like, a French company and like the names of the colours should be in French as well.  To me it`s a clear sign it`s a fake handbag if the names describing the colours of the bag don`t match up.  I read that on a site that highlights what to look for when buying a replica handbag.  I thought I`d let you know as well, in case you have future customers that ask for the same level of accuracy as me. [insert me laughing here]

I also refuse to buy...

I'm usually done reading by this point and have deleted the email.  Seriously, there are so many things here that don't match up.   Let's play Sherlock Holmes, shall we?

1. Your husband is an executive, yet $260 is a ton of money (I'm not negating that $260.00 is not a lot of money - it's just not a lot of money compared to an executive salary in a large company is all I'm saying);
2. You want me, ME, to go to a Macy's or Nordstroms and check features (which involve me to be there for at least a couple of hours with a measuring tape and a magnifying glass) for you (Girlfriend, you are a brave one or your under some very delusional impression that I really need this sale);
3. You adamantly state that you will refuse to buy the bag if the slightest little detail is off (makes me jump up and say, THIS IS THE SALE I WANT!  OH God, I hope she buys from me.  It will be such an honour!);
4. You're getting your panties in a knot because the CHINESE manufacturers and factories decided to call something Garden Green and did not stick to traditional French names (wow, you're now bordering on special breed of PITA and CRAZY);
5. And yes, because the colour arbitrarily given to a bag, by CHINESE speaking people, on a non official website, no less, should really be the deal or no deal factor when it comes to buying a replica handbag.  [mouths "wow" and does finger twirling around side of head motion]

So here's the skinny on the above notes.   If you're writing to me, and even if you write 100 times in a day, and you are asking questions about a bag, a colour, a style, durability, quality, looks, ideas for what matches, versatility, boardroom usability, sizes of bags, return policy, cost to ship to the Republic of Togo, different designers, good quality vs. bad quality handbags, your order, tracking number, or even just to chat about nothing to do with a bag, you are SO NOT being a pain in the ass.

I think we know each other well enough now to know that I don't skirt around issues and I would definitely tell you that you're kinda bordering on loose canon territory and that I have to go now.


Please I encourage questions.  I have two ladies that stand out yesterday who were emailing me asking about a bag or two.  One came right out and asked me, "can I return the bag if I am just really picky and don't like it?".  You know, there is NOTHING wrong with this question.  That is an awesome question.  It gets all the formalities out of the way.  It tells me exactly where she is in her line of thinking and in turn it allows me to give her an honest answer, therefore giving her the ability to make a decision on whether or not she wants to buy a bag.  There's no himming, no hawing, and no deceit.

I had another girl write to me several times and ask me about colours of bags and what would give her the most versatility and use, and if a certain colour of tan was too light or just right.  Again, these are good questions.  She needs to know something and she is asking valid questions.  There is no way I would in anyway bitch about these questions.  This is what I'm here for.   This is why I started this business.  I want to talk colours, designs, bags, styles, good, bad, ugly.  I would be a sour puss deluxe if good questions like these were being labelled as pain in the ass people.  Those are so not pain in the ass questions.  Those are questions that need to be asked to avoid disappointment later.  That makes sense to me.  If that kind of stuff upset me or anyone, then seriously we'd  be doing this for the wrong reasons.


Happy Shopping!!